Following on from my post on feeling lost in the world of blogging, I've been trying to work out just exactly where I stand and how I feel about my place in the beauty blogging world. I know, I know, that sounds melodramatic, but honestly, I don't think you can understand the attachment we bloggers have with our blogs and the blogging community unless you're a blogger yourself! But when you feel totally disenchanted, lost and (frankly) uninterested, where do you fit into the equation? Is it time to take yourself out of it? Then I saw this quote on Instagram...
Remember why you started. Well, why did I start beauty blogging? I was young, in college studying media make-up and totally enthralled with everything makeup and beauty. Makeup was truly an art form to me, it was self expression, it had absolutely nothing to do with trying to improve my 'natural beauty' - to me, 'natural' or 'neutral' makeup was the definition of dull. Everything seemed magical, fascinating - I spent all of my free time playing with makeup, talking my friends into modelling for me, posting to online makeup forums and watching Youtube tutorial and I never got tired of it. Then, one day, I stumbled upon Lipglossiping - the first UK beauty blog I had come across. I spent hours and hours reading through as far back as I could, this magical makeup world seemingly opening up even further with every mention of a product or brand I'd never come across before. I realised there must be even more UK people out there as hooked on beauty as I was, and right then, I decided to make a blog.
Those first few years were incredible. I loved everything to do with blogging - planning posts, photographing products, writing, reading everyone else's posts, keeping up with the latest products - it was so insanely fun it was all I thought about! I loved casual Twitter chit chats with other bloggers, replying to all the comments from readers, even emails from people asking advice!
So, to sum it up, I began because I LOVED makeup, I LOVED blogging and I LOVED the community. But these days...well, everything has changed - and no, I don't just mean in the blogging world, I mean personally, too.
These days I barely wear makeup, I'd definitely not just do it for fun like I would back then! I have a drawer rammed full of crazy bright eyeshadows that I used to wear almost daily, but now I just grab whichever neutral palette is closest. The idea of spending an hour or so on some intricate look makes me feel more 'ugh' than 'YAY!' and I'd rather spend dollar on clothes, books and fitness than the latest release from whatever new brand. Getting glammed up to just sit at home feels more depressing than fun and when I write, instead of it sounding enthusiastic and full of personality, I can't help but feel it comes across as flat and bland (so three cheers for you if you're still reading!)
There's also the whole 'adulting' thing, which makes the time you "have to" put into blogging so much more valuable when there's 'real life' stuff to worry about which you never had to think about as a young blogger - work, building your skills for work, job hunting, networking, keeping your finances in check, keeping appointments, making sure you see x or y family member or friend. I admit I now feel a pang of guilt if I'm writing about a lipstick instead of brushing up on a new piece of software, fixing my work portfolio or checking for job listings - but that is real life, that is the stage of life I'm at right now.
So really, beauty blogging isn't that important to me now because...well, I grew up. I'm no longer that bright eyed 16 year old entirely amazed by new MAC releases, daydreaming about working with Pat McGrath and spending every waking moment doing makeup. I'm a slightly stressed 23 year old who spends more time writing food plans, wandering through museums and reading up on history.
Life is wonderful in its unpredictability - it's exciting and unnerving at the same time. It changes, we change, and I've learnt we can either accept this or keep trying to jam ourselves into a mold which we've simply outgrown. So for now I will keep wandering, a bit lost, debating writing about a new topic - but that's entirely okay, after all, you miss all the fun when you stick to a set path, right?!
Are you still as passionate now as you were when you started beauty blogging? Has a new interest taken its place? Do you think feel a bit guilty writing blog posts instead of 'adulting' too? Let me know! Comments up top!